is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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