hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Terrible idea I love it
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
