That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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