i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
