Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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