So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
