I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
you inspire me to be a worse person
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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