Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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