I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
