as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
