glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
