OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
