This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Still dying that you shit outside
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
