Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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