if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
