Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
