so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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