Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
