You're so nebulous sometimes
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
