I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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