I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
