He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
