And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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