yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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