so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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