Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
