I'm going to jail i love you
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
