another moral hangover. fuck.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
