she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
