Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
