The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
