Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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