Taylor Swift is so right about you.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
