OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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