I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
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I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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