My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
