As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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