Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
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