just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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