Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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