it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
