I'm going to rape someone's good day.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
