What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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