I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
