Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
