I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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