they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
