I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
