Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
