Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just found a bag of teeth...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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