I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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