He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
