So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Randomize
