I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
