Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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