It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Randomize
