My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
this will be a night to untag.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
So much rum. So many feels.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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