Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
