Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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